I don't just mean the physical journey
South Africa - Zambia - Botswana - Swaziland - Mozambique - South Africa
I have been through every single emotion known to man over the past 2 months
Happy - Scared - Angry - Apprehensive - Sad - Tired - Hyper - Admiration - Happiness again - Guilt
*i realise some of them aren't emotions but I'm using them anyway
If you are really keen to read word by word of every single thing we did over our month long trip, I'm afraid I'm not going to type all that for you.
But!, the Journey of a lifetime website will!
read it all here.... http://www.jolttrust.org.uk/jolt-2014-across-africa/jolt-2014-trip-diary/
But before you do!
I did enjoy the trip, believe me i did, it's just hard to explain it as a vacation, i can only describe it as an "experience", one that i do not spend much time in and just seem to go in one end as "Jamie 1.0" and get get spat out the other end with a whole new set of qualities and outlooks on life.
- I wish it could all be that perfect.
Yes i enjoyed the trip, and I'm extremely grateful for it, and i do hope i can go back one day.
But there's one thing niggling at the back of my mind?
Why did i go?
I originally had the idea i would go out there, sparks would fly, and i would come back a new man. But I'm afraid life doesn't work like that, and instead i Learned to run.
Which is as far as i know, a big deal in the Stroke rehab program!
I cant force a charity expedition into changing my life for me.
I now have the tools i need to live.
Thank you
Africa in a Nutshell
*this is just a summary, i will make a more detailed post soon.
I have truly been on a physical, mental and emotional roller coaster ride, full of some pretty incredible people doing some truly incredible things. There was highs, lows, sideways, ups, downs and round and rounds.
but now I'm home, and i don't know how i feel.
I have truly been on a physical, mental and emotional roller coaster ride, full of some pretty incredible people doing some truly incredible things. There was highs, lows, sideways, ups, downs and round and rounds.
but now I'm home, and i don't know how i feel.
Africa Update
*i am writing this from an internet cafe in Mbabane - Swaziland, pretty cool huh?
Dear All
So far i have been soaked from the vapour of Victoria falls,scared to death by hippos outside my tent, and been swarmed by schoolkids in a Swazi school.
I honestly didn't think i would miss people that much but i do, i miss my routine at home and the people that make it happen.
emotions get tense when living in such close proximity to each other with the other young people. but things seem to be a lot brighter with the end coming to a near
There are a few people who want to go home now and have already tried to ask to be sent home. Thank god i'm not one of those people.
I do believe this trip is good for me and i look forward to telling the story in more detail when i get home.
see you all soon
-Jamie
Dear All
So far i have been soaked from the vapour of Victoria falls,scared to death by hippos outside my tent, and been swarmed by schoolkids in a Swazi school.
I honestly didn't think i would miss people that much but i do, i miss my routine at home and the people that make it happen.
emotions get tense when living in such close proximity to each other with the other young people. but things seem to be a lot brighter with the end coming to a near
There are a few people who want to go home now and have already tried to ask to be sent home. Thank god i'm not one of those people.
I do believe this trip is good for me and i look forward to telling the story in more detail when i get home.
see you all soon
-Jamie
The Deep Feeling
*For the purposes of this blog post i will be calling "different people" "beautiful people"
I dont know how this works, but it does, and somehow it makes perfect sense.
Ever since i became a "beautiful person", i have met many other "beautiful people" that share many of the same characteristics as me. There is a deep feeling inside me, and i bet it is inside many other of these fine people. A feeling that makes you want to do something, something you are passionate about. For example, somebody who has had to get one or two legs amputated may get the "deep feeling" and go and do something amazing like running a marathon. Another example may be a 90 year old doing a sky dive, just to prove they can. As for me i tend to use my deep feeling to sit in my room on a roasting hot summers day and write blog posts to help other stroke survivors or seriously ill people. How sad is that? :)
Before i got a case of the deep feelings i was never this happy. And now that i have them, i now wouldn't have it any other way. I do not actually know how one obtains "the feeling" but it must be from some sort of ongoing or single traumatic event.
My Quest to find this secret feeling will bring me to Africa next saturday, it is when i'm there that i will meet many people from different backgrounds, maybe then i will understand "the feeling" a little bit more, and will be able to tell you all about it!
Even if only like 2 people read this blog... :(
If i can change the life of 1 person, just 1 person, for the better, then i have succeeded.
Thank you
I dont know how this works, but it does, and somehow it makes perfect sense.
Ever since i became a "beautiful person", i have met many other "beautiful people" that share many of the same characteristics as me. There is a deep feeling inside me, and i bet it is inside many other of these fine people. A feeling that makes you want to do something, something you are passionate about. For example, somebody who has had to get one or two legs amputated may get the "deep feeling" and go and do something amazing like running a marathon. Another example may be a 90 year old doing a sky dive, just to prove they can. As for me i tend to use my deep feeling to sit in my room on a roasting hot summers day and write blog posts to help other stroke survivors or seriously ill people. How sad is that? :)
Before i got a case of the deep feelings i was never this happy. And now that i have them, i now wouldn't have it any other way. I do not actually know how one obtains "the feeling" but it must be from some sort of ongoing or single traumatic event.
My Quest to find this secret feeling will bring me to Africa next saturday, it is when i'm there that i will meet many people from different backgrounds, maybe then i will understand "the feeling" a little bit more, and will be able to tell you all about it!
Even if only like 2 people read this blog... :(
If i can change the life of 1 person, just 1 person, for the better, then i have succeeded.
Thank you
My Stroke Journey (part 1)
Day 1 November 20th 2010
Today my life completely turned upside down, so far the doctors just say it was a really bad migraine, the doctors are baffled, c’mon I'm just 15!, I cant walk, I cant sit up, I cant even eat! As I lay here, bored out of my mind, I play back the last 12 hours in my head, I recall just sitting on my sofa, just minding my own business and then I got this weird feeling In the left side of my body, it took me a while to realise it was numb, my mum had just came home from the shops and I told her I wasn’t feeling well, she immediately noticed the droop in the side of my face, she phoned 999 and off I went!
Days 2, 3 and 4 November 21st-23rd
I’m lying here in a small room with two beds, I’m occupying one, the other by an elderly woman who I think is called Margaret, there is a blue and white curtain separating us. A young student doctor named Kate comes in every 20-40 minutes to ask me what the date is and where I am, a question I find stupidly obvious but I suppose there are people worse off than me that can’t answer that question. Over the next few days I begin to get my bearings and I start learning the nurses and doctors names, so far my favourite is a youngish auxiliary nurse called Susan, she was the one who talked to mum and dad about what had happened and how to cope with it, I really respected her for that.
Day 34 December 24th
It is Christmas Eve and I actually don’t want to leave. The nurses here are just so nice, the doctors are trying to send me to a specialist rehab unit called “Craig Court” I have decided to just stay here for Christmas instead of spending it somewhere with people I don’t know. The night time nurses are having a Christmas Eve party, of course I am invited
Day 41 December 30th
Today is the day, today they moved me to Craig court, and I’ve been down to meet all the “residents” as they call them, I miss the nurses at ward 39, but I have to move on. I slept from 6.30 last night to 9.00 this morning, I was that tired, I’m still tired, and I’m always tired! I have been downstairs to explore a little; this place has 3 lounges, a games room, a garden, a fully equipped gym, and around 30 bedrooms.
At this time I feel quite peaceful and at home, I do miss home, of course I do, but there’s something about this place that keeps your spirits up, its like, when you live in a place where one of the only things you look forward to is your physiotherapy appointments, it makes you appreciate the little things in life, the ability to roll your
wheelchair into the garden for some fresh air, seeing your parents for just one visit a day, although I did enjoy life as a bachelor, but I did miss home, who wouldn’t?.
I have read up on stroke side effects just to see how other people handle all this and what they went through, some people say they had personality and sense of humour changes, I noticed this too, I was beginning to see things in people that I hadn’t noticed before, I didn’t judge people anymore, I never stared at people who looked or acted different, I always had this feeling inside of me that wanted to help people in some way or another, maybe that was just me growing up and becoming a man, maybe it was the stroke, either way, I liked the new me: maybe this isn’t a bad thing after all!
Day (I’m not quite sure)
I went out on a day trip today, me, 2 residents and 2 carers went to a Harvester bar and grill, I swear it was the best meal I had in months! More importantly I had fun, I felt like a teenager today. We went to Asda on the way home, its weird being out like this, you spend months under hospital care and then, even for those 30 minutes, your free, it’s great.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions and answers from people that i get frequently when they find out my background. I am open to any sort of questions about my life. if you wish to ask then please use the email form to the right of this page.
#1 did it affect your education?
I don't really think i was ready to go straight back into full education when i did after the summer of 2011. But i did, i did some lower level qualifications for my year group and got mediocre passes. I did a lot worse in the following year but excelled in my digital media course i took after my 6th year at high school, i was offered a 7th year there but declined it. I look forward to my 2nd out of 3 years at college before i possibly go off to university!
#2 has it changed your outlook on life?
I never really found myself as a person pre-stroke, but now as much of a cliche as it is, i appreciate the little things in life. I remember one day in hospital when i took only 3 steps, but it was the best day ever!
#3 what was your family and friend's reaction?
out of 8 ish months under care, i must of had a visit every single day by at least somebody, it is no longer a novelty to have me struggling with some things, or acting like a complete idiot!
#4 what did i think when i was told i had a stroke?
To be perfectly honest i was quite proud. i had heard of people having them and dying instantly, so i was surprised that i had had one and felt fine!, except from the vomiting and complete left sided weakness.
#5 what is the best and worst things about being you
Best: the opportunities it unlocks, i was lucky enough to carry the Olympic torch for London 2012 Olympic games, and then of course the upcoming Africa trip
worst:no, not the weakness. I'm fine with not being able to use my left hand, or run. Its the social awkwardness and confusion that annoys me the most.
#6 how did you get better?
Lots and lots and lots of physiotherapy (every day for 8 months),an encouraging group of family and friends, a regular exercise regime, and a positive mental attitude!
#7 How was your time in hospital/rehabilitation clinic?
Brilliant!, i met so many nice people and friends i will keep forever. the physio was never repetitive and boring, and i always had my own room to relax in
#8 how does it affect your life now?
#9 what would you say to somebody in your position?
Do EXACTLY what the hospital people tell you to do.
Don't give up
and most importantly, remember this....IT GETS BETTER, TRUST ME
#10 stroke life, pro or con?
I'm sorry, but that is up to you to decide!
#1 did it affect your education?
I don't really think i was ready to go straight back into full education when i did after the summer of 2011. But i did, i did some lower level qualifications for my year group and got mediocre passes. I did a lot worse in the following year but excelled in my digital media course i took after my 6th year at high school, i was offered a 7th year there but declined it. I look forward to my 2nd out of 3 years at college before i possibly go off to university!
#2 has it changed your outlook on life?
I never really found myself as a person pre-stroke, but now as much of a cliche as it is, i appreciate the little things in life. I remember one day in hospital when i took only 3 steps, but it was the best day ever!
#3 what was your family and friend's reaction?
out of 8 ish months under care, i must of had a visit every single day by at least somebody, it is no longer a novelty to have me struggling with some things, or acting like a complete idiot!
#4 what did i think when i was told i had a stroke?
To be perfectly honest i was quite proud. i had heard of people having them and dying instantly, so i was surprised that i had had one and felt fine!, except from the vomiting and complete left sided weakness.
#5 what is the best and worst things about being you
Best: the opportunities it unlocks, i was lucky enough to carry the Olympic torch for London 2012 Olympic games, and then of course the upcoming Africa trip
worst:no, not the weakness. I'm fine with not being able to use my left hand, or run. Its the social awkwardness and confusion that annoys me the most.
#6 how did you get better?
Lots and lots and lots of physiotherapy (every day for 8 months),an encouraging group of family and friends, a regular exercise regime, and a positive mental attitude!
#7 How was your time in hospital/rehabilitation clinic?
Brilliant!, i met so many nice people and friends i will keep forever. the physio was never repetitive and boring, and i always had my own room to relax in
#8 how does it affect your life now?
- I have more fun now
- i know much more people
- i know how to cook and clean
- I'm truly happy
- i am more determined
- i know who i am and what i am going to be
#9 what would you say to somebody in your position?
Do EXACTLY what the hospital people tell you to do.
Don't give up
and most importantly, remember this....IT GETS BETTER, TRUST ME
#10 stroke life, pro or con?
I'm sorry, but that is up to you to decide!
Bucket List
Here is everything i want to do before i die as of the 3rd of July 2014.
this list is probably dependent on my mood, but here goes...
#1 travel to every continent
#2 make a friend from every country in the world
#3 take the aberdeen to inverness train, fall asleep and wake up in inverness
#4 save somebody's life
#5 break a world record
#6 have a child
#7 get a photograph with someone from every country in europe
#8 get a pet lizard
#9 repay everyone who has helped me out strokewise
#10 donate a body part, (blood or an organ)
I could write things like, "be a millionaire", but thats not who i am anymore, this eccentric list of quirky tasks are the things that i (right now) want to achieve. Some more than others obviously, but that's just how it goes.
this list is probably dependent on my mood, but here goes...
#1 travel to every continent
#2 make a friend from every country in the world
#3 take the aberdeen to inverness train, fall asleep and wake up in inverness
#4 save somebody's life
#5 break a world record
#6 have a child
#7 get a photograph with someone from every country in europe
#8 get a pet lizard
#9 repay everyone who has helped me out strokewise
#10 donate a body part, (blood or an organ)
I could write things like, "be a millionaire", but thats not who i am anymore, this eccentric list of quirky tasks are the things that i (right now) want to achieve. Some more than others obviously, but that's just how it goes.
The Last Piece of the Puzzle
I have had, doctors,nurses,physiotherapists,occupational therapists,opticians,nutritionists,neuro psychologists,carers,friends,family,teachers,lecturers you name it! I've had it! All of these people have jobs that are their to improve the quality of life for me and my peers. And yes, it works, up until a certain point.
There is a piece missing, i don't know if this piece is missing from everyone or just me. But this piece, is a feeling, a feeling that i must do something good, something brave, and selfless; just for the good of other people. I have tried previously to fill this void with this feeling, but so far no avail.
Lately i have started to think that this feeling will never go away and that i will spend my life with the need to do "good" things. I have to admit i have not done an awful lot of heavenly deeds, but I've been busy!
Anyway... I plan to complete this puzzle soon. I am going on an "expedition" to the southern counties in Africa (South Africa,Mozambique,Zambia,Botswana,Swaziland and possibly more). Other people going on the journey include physically, socially and emotionally disadvantaged young people (ages 14-24 i think) to better themselves and help each other out in team building sort of exercises. i will meet a lot of new people and learn a lot of new things, i cant wait!
This is the "thing" the catalyst that starts my life, completes it, and makes it be what i want it to be. If it doesn't i can only be sure ill get pretty close. And that's all i ask for, my life.
Expedition Website : http://www.jolttrust.org.uk/jolt-2014-across-africa/
There is a piece missing, i don't know if this piece is missing from everyone or just me. But this piece, is a feeling, a feeling that i must do something good, something brave, and selfless; just for the good of other people. I have tried previously to fill this void with this feeling, but so far no avail.
Lately i have started to think that this feeling will never go away and that i will spend my life with the need to do "good" things. I have to admit i have not done an awful lot of heavenly deeds, but I've been busy!
Anyway... I plan to complete this puzzle soon. I am going on an "expedition" to the southern counties in Africa (South Africa,Mozambique,Zambia,Botswana,Swaziland and possibly more). Other people going on the journey include physically, socially and emotionally disadvantaged young people (ages 14-24 i think) to better themselves and help each other out in team building sort of exercises. i will meet a lot of new people and learn a lot of new things, i cant wait!
This is the "thing" the catalyst that starts my life, completes it, and makes it be what i want it to be. If it doesn't i can only be sure ill get pretty close. And that's all i ask for, my life.
Expedition Website : http://www.jolttrust.org.uk/jolt-2014-across-africa/
Struggles and Hardships
Imagine a world, a world where you are
influenced how to live your life by people who you perceive to be
better looking or greater than you. People that you wish you had the
similar facial, bodily or personality related features.
I have spent my entire adolescent life
trying to act “normal; but what is normal? I wore the same clothes
as other people, listened to the same music, and even befriended
people I didn't even like. All because I was a lost sheep who couldn't
find his way, before I was blind, but now I see! Who even invents
these rules anyway, I mean, is there a group of middle aged men
sitting around a table in somewhere like Switzerland, making up all
these “rules” for people to follow and live by.
I want to let you all in on a little
secret, okay, here it comes, I am not truly happy. That's right, I am
not 100% content with my life, but who can be? You could say life
consists of two things, progression, and setbacks. There are times in
your life where you are walking along, enjoying yourself and then
BOOM! Setback, it could be something simple as a failed exam or a
test. Or something serious and traumatic like the loss of a love one
or a serious personal injury or medical condition. But then again,
you are left with two choices, two paths that can change your life
forever, and I mean ever! Choice 1, give up, give up everything you
have ever worked for and everything you will ever work for, give up
on your family, your friends, your hobbies,your interests, your
brain, your body, your culture, your Self. Or the second path. Take
everything, every single little thing, positive or negative, and
channel it into a power, a power of emotion, motivation or self
improvement to change the world for the greater good.
If I can make a difference in just a
tiny percentage of this room today, I mean like 1 or two people, then
this is a success. Today is all about changing the world for
tomorrow, and it isn't me that does that, it isn't your mums, dads,
carers, teachers and friends that do that, its you.
I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm sick to my
heart and my stomach of young people who deem themselves unworthy in
comparison to the general public. It is disgusting to know that 1 in
four people, not females, not males, PEOPLE experience some kind of
mental health problem each year. I don't know about you guys, but I
think that is something that needs to be ended, now. It's hard
though, I know its hard, I cant even count the amount of young people
who are depressed, who are vulnerable, who hurt themselves, who cut
themselves, even those who have thought about or even tried suicide.
I cant tell you what you need to do to be happy. I can only be your
friend. But as much as I would like to be, I cant be everyone's
friend, I'm going to need some help. Who will be my friend?
Life with one hand
Until i might possibly maybe kind of get my left hand to work again, i have to learn to do things with my right only.
This isn't exactly hard though.. here's a list of some cool things i can do one handed
This isn't exactly hard though.. here's a list of some cool things i can do one handed
- open bottles/cans
- dress myself
- play video games
- lift heavy objects
- type fast on a keyboard
- take a computer apart and piece it back together
and here are some things i cannot "yet" do
- tie my laces
- zip up certain jackets
- run
- climb
- dance :(
these are just things to thing to if for some reason you meet me, or any other stroke sufferer, that you might have to look out for.
We are a proud community, so please do not patrionise me or anyone
although i don't speak for everyone, this is all my opinion.
I'd rather be able to do cool things like in the video below than do normal things people are used to!
basic opinion of my life so far
People look at me and think “oh that poor boy, I bet he has had all kinds of troubles”, yes this may be true, but Its still me, I’m still Jamie, yes I put in a lot of determination to get where I am today, and yes it was hard, but its just one of those things that happen, I don’t want to be patronised by people who think I’m different, yes I am different, but who says it has to be a bad thing? In many ways this stroke has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but also in many ways it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Welcome to my life.
I like to think i am leading an unusual, interesting life, i feel the need to get it all down on paper (or atleast web pages) so that i can remember what i used to be. or so that other people will understand what i think. But on occasion i struggle to tell people about my past or convey what i trully mean.
So i made this blog to archive my thoughts and feelings, not for any commercial use, but for personal enjoyment and to help other people like me, with the troubles that i have faced and how to face them.
I hope you find my blog amusing, interesting or any mix of emotions.
and in case your wondering......
So i made this blog to archive my thoughts and feelings, not for any commercial use, but for personal enjoyment and to help other people like me, with the troubles that i have faced and how to face them.
I hope you find my blog amusing, interesting or any mix of emotions.
and in case your wondering......
My name is Jamie Law, i am currently 19 years old, and i had a severe stroke when i was only 15
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